Transform your Relationships

February 2, 2023

Three Weeks to Transform Your Relationships

Discover the secrets to living in peace with family, friends, and yourself with Shalom Challenge 3.0

Things had been stressful at work since Malky returned from her vacation the previous week, but she hadn’t been expecting such a scathing text from her supervisor the second she got home.

She put the Doona in the corner. Took off her coat, settled the kids down. Blinked back her tears and fed her baby, reading the text over and over again.

I can’t believe she wrote this.

She’s not the type.

I must have done something really wrong.

But not that wrong.

I need to change to a different department.

I need to leave my job, run away and hide and never work another day in my life.

And then, the thought occurred to her: Who says it’s me?

Maybe she’s having a bad day too.

Maybe she regrets what she wrote and doesn’t know how to take it back.

Maybe she can’t cope under pressure and didn’t have any way to deal with it other than hurting me.

The pain is still there.

Malky might even confront her supervisor at work the next day.

But the hurt, the confusion, and the indignation can heal—because her mind flipped the story.


Sometimes, we think, If I had easy people and easy situations in my life, things would go smoothly. Relationships would be simpler. I’d get less hurt, less frustrated, less stuck. I’d build richer relationships, deeper friendships, and closer bonds.



The people and situations are way beyond our control.

But what is in our control?

The way we think and respond to difficult situations and relationships.

And when that changes, everything does.

That’s why the Shalom Challenge was born—to help youcontrol the narrative and bring your relationships to where you want them to be.

Now it’s in third year, the challenge has 28,913 participants and hundreds of incredible stories of how the tools helped people make their life and relationships better.

What is the Shalom Challenge?

It’s a three-week video program in which you get a two-minute video in your email each day. Each video shares a powerful relationship idea and a brilliant, actionable takeaway tool so you can implement your new skills immediately.

That’s all. There’s no commitment, no charge—just instantly smoother, richer, better relationships that make life a lot less complicated and a lot happier.

How is it different from all the other relationship tools out there?

Mainly, it’s fast—just two minutes a day plus real, practical change. Because yes, there’s a huge self-help section in every bookstore and tons of advertised courses to teach you the relationship skills you need to live a more serene, fulfilling life. If you take the time to read the books and take the courses, kudos. (Hey, the same brilliant minds that created the Shalom Challenge also published about 30 best-selling books on communication and relationships!)

But if you’re like most of us who have a lot going on and don’t have the time or brain space to pick up a book or take a course, this is something you can squeeze in. It takes just three minutes a day to click on and view a fun-to-watch video that’s packed with value. And unlike the other options, it’s free.

Why did it start?

Back in 2020, the world changed. Lockdown. Vaccines. Masks. Trump vs. Biden. People hurting each other, hating each other. At a time when we needed to come together more than ever, we were coming apart.

That’s when the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation launched the Challenge: to help us cross the divide, look past erroneous beliefs, and reconnect as a family.

Four weeks after the initiative began, 20,000 families had risen to the challenge. Our inbox was flooded with more than 500 heartwarming, heroic stories of peace.

And we realized: they’re just beginning.

That’s why the Challenge is back for a third year, with 15 new ways to make your relationships better—so we can build a kinder world together, one word, one action, one relationship at a time.

How does this program teach so much information so quickly?

Core concepts of great relationships are broken down in videos so anyone can get a clear understanding of them.

I deal with some difficult people at work. Can the Shalom Challenge help me?

You bet! Every video gives you a tip, trick, or new approach to help you keep the peace and stay calmer inside, regardless of how difficult people around you are.

My relationship with everybody I know is strong and pretty peaceful. Is this challenge for me?

Good for you—and it sure is! The Challenge isn’t just about putting out fires, it’s about making good relationships great and dealing with the small frustrations and tiny annoyances that crop up. As long as you’re living with people, there’ll be tips in those videos that you’ll want to try out.

Can I unsubscribe mid-program?

You won’t want to. But sure, you can unsubscribe at any time by hitting the unsubscribe link at the bottom of every email.

Can I sponsor a video for a zechus or in memory of a loved one?

Sure thing. Get in touch by emailing to give us the details.

Here’s what you can expect from Shalom Challenge 3.0:

Week 1: you

Your mind, your personality, and your heart. Because it all starts there. When you change what you think, you change what you feel and how you act.

Week 2: your inner circle

Parents, in-laws, spouses, siblings, and children. Because your relationships with the people closest to you matter the most—and are also often the hardest.

Week 3: your outer circle

Neighbors, workmates, and everyone you meet. Because you can be that person who brings out the best in whomever they meet, even when things get tricky.


Some of the most popular tools taught in previous challenges

Challenge Day 4

Different, not wrong: Is a Bugaboo a luxury?

Which one is right?

Screenshot of Shalom Challenge 2: Day 4

There is always someone else seeing what you saw in a different way.

Different. Not wrong.

The challenge: When someone sees something differently than you, remind yourself: They don’t have to be wrong for me to be right.

Challenge Day 12

The bigger picture: What don’t I see?

This video gave Shalom Challengers a look at real life beyond the camera. With photo sharing, we see a stack of Amazon boxes on our neighbor’s doorstep and think someone got a bunch of fun stuff.

Screenshot of Shalom Challenge 2: Day 12

In real life, though, the diabetic neighbor had his medical supplies delivered, as you see in the next screen.

Screenshot of Shalom Challenge 2: Day 12

In the next scene, a neighbor posts her beautifully set Shabbos table on Thursday night. The neighbors think she’s Superwoman and wonder why they don’t have it together—but on the next screen, the rest of the dining room is in chaos.

Screenshot of Shalom Challenge 2: Day 12

The challenge: Feeling excluded or not good enough compared to X? Think, There’s a world beyond what you see. All we’re getting is a tiny, cleaned-up glimpse.

Challenge Day 9

Be there: four (awkward) listeners

In this video, someone complains about his knee pain, and the matchless Mosey Kaplan plays four kinds of ineffectual listeners:

The criticizer: This character berates his friend for going on a hike and tells him that if he loses 20 pounds, his knee problems will go away.

Screenshot of Shalom Challenge 2: Day 9

The “I’m with you” guy: He says, “I’m with you,” but actually keeps checking his phone…and wonders why his friend walks away.

Screenshot of Shalom Challenge 2: Day 9

The details obsessor: “You couldn’t walk four blocks to shul yesterday? But shul is only three blocks away!” This guy wants to make sure he is getting the story exactly right.

Screenshot of Shalom Challenge 2: Day 9

The “That’s nothing!” guy: “Your knee? Feh! By me it’s both knees and a shoulder, and my migraines have really been killing me—but what are you telling me? Your knee is sore?”

Screenshot of Shalom Challenge 2: Day 9

The challenge: Next time you’re listening, make sure you’ve really heard.

These are just some of the videos in Shalom Challenge 2 that went viral. Want to watch them for yourself? Go to


Stories of Shalom success

Ten real-life stories of relationship wins that people had after taking the Shalom Challenge

  • Over the last few days, I’ve erased words better left unsaid from my texts several times. The best part? I felt great afterward!
  • I’m a preschool morah. This year, there was one child who rubbed me the wrong way, and I couldn’t bond with him. When I signed up for the Shalom Challenge, I resolved to focus on his good qualities. I now think he’s a genuinely gorgeous and cute little boy. Thanks to the challenge, my student has a morah who loves him dearly.
  • After I signed up for the Shalom Challenge, I lashed out at a friend who excluded me from her plans. Then, I got the Shalom Challenge email. I immediately called her up to say that I’m just finding life hard and it has nothing to do with her.
  • I arranged to sponsor a Torah class as a zechus for a relative undergoing an important medical appointment that day. The organization ignored my request and used my sponsorship for the wrong day. I kept quiet, though, figuring that keeping the shalom would be an even greater zechus for him.
  • My aunt got engaged to the brother of a classmate who made my life difficult a few years ago. I just found out that she’ll be joining our Purim seudah, and these videos have helped me view her with more shalom.
  • My stepdaughter always takes food I cook for my business and gives it as presents to her friends. I was fuming at her selfishness—but then I read the challenge about looking at someone through the eyes of someone who likes them. The next day, I gladly gave her quiches and muffins.
  • I spoke to a family member about a sensitive topic in a more gentle and loving way because of my increased awareness.
  • I kept my cool and stayed silent throughout the frustration of taking our family Purim picture.
  • My mother talks to me in an incredibly belittling and demeaning way. I was so hurt that I put her number on my call-rejection list. The next day, I caught up with my Shalom Challenge emails…and sent her flowers for Shabbos. For the first time in my life, I had a pleasant visit in her house.
  • A family member of mine is obnoxious and hard to get along with. The first day of the Shalom Challenge taught me to relabel this person; now, before I interact with him, I think, This person is struggling, and I approach him with pity rather than annoyance.

Better relationships mean your life is better.Text “winner” to 845-521-0054 to make stories of your own.

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The winner is you

Bottom line of the Shalom Challenge? The thought we put into our relationships and the techniques we use to show up for real are a small price to pay for a life full of smoother, deeper, better relationships.

This time next month, you could achieve things like:

  • strengthening a relationship
  • feeling calmer inside
  • flipping conflict to connection
  • saying the right thing
  • being more gentle and loving
  • understanding and accepting others
  • turning your mood around
  • understanding yourself better
  • forgiving and letting go

How can we be so sure?

Because all those scenarios are direct quotes from people who took Shalom Challenge 2 and saw big and small changes in their lives.

Now it’s your turn.

Go to and get your first video. Only have email access? Send an email to and we’ll set you up.