Articles

Insider’s Scoop

October 14, 2024

Meir Dickstein

Facilitated by M. Brejt

They know us well.

The man selling Erev Shabbos flowers wishes me a Good Shabbos, and my cleaners has a large sign stating that they’ll be closed on Rosh Hashanah. The man at the suit store assures me that this is what everyone’s wearing, and the security guard has opinions about sukkah decorations.

They’ve spent years working with the Jewish community, and we exchange friendly smiles when I put money on the counter.

I was curious.

How much do they really know? Are they familiar with our calendar, our culture, our lingo?

On one of the last summer mornings, I took a stroll around Lakewood to find out.

 

“I like Lakewood”

The Pizza Man’s Story: Mario of J2

It’s a late Thursday afternoon in J2, and the pizza shop is hopping. Harried mothers, arms full of shopping bags, stand at the counter, enticed by the fragrant smells of fresh pizza and the promise of an easy supper. Kids swing their legs at the table, sipping slush, enjoying their celebratory back-to-school treat. It’s hectic and warm and busy, and behind the counter, tossing dough into the air with practiced ease, is Mario.

Wearing a happy-go-lucky smile and white apron, Marrio is the image of the classic pizza man.

Although unsure how he’s turned into a mini celebrity, he’s happy to talk as he sprinkles vegetables onto cheese.

“How did you get involved in the Jewish community, Mario?”

Mario laughs. “In Lakewood, you don’t find a job anywhere else! Lakewood Jewish people have work for all the Mexican immigrants,” he asserts.

And Mario’s happy about that. “I love Lakewood. I’m working here since 2001. I love the place, I have a lot of friends, and I’m so happy to work here! I never had a problem with nobody. I love everybody, and I think everybody likes me.” He smiles. “It’s fun here!”

Looking around at th buzzing atmosphere, I agree.

“What do you like most about your job?”

“I like everything!” Mario exclaims. “My boss is such a sweet person. My boss is the best, and you know, it’s all good.”

“Did you pick up any Jewish lingo on the job?” I ask him.

“Like the Yiddish?” Mario checks.

At my nod, his face furrows in concentration.

“Hmm… How did the word go? Oh… Vasmaksda!” he says proudly. We both laugh, and then he shakes his head. “I don’t remember any more,” he admits.

It’s getting late, and Marios’ pizzas are calling for his attention, so he waves a friendly goodbye.

As I leave, he calls after me, “Tell your readers to come by! It’s fun here!”

After talking to Mario, I understand why.

 

View from the Top

Adam Buczynski, BMG Maintenance Foreman

Adam, with his square glasses and button-down shirt, is happy to talk to me. His appearance is unassuming, but don’t be fooled. This man knows all the secrets behind the hub of Lakewood life. He’s been at his position in BMG for a staggering 25 years and has been an up-close witness to its growth.

But the growth, he claims, isn’t surprising, even though he’s seen the town go from 30,000 to 100,000.

“It didn’t happen overnight,” he explains reasonably, his Polish accent lending weight to his words. “It made sense. The school grew bigger, so more people came here.”

In Adam’s long and rich career, the time that stands out for him is covid-19. “You guys really came through to help the community.” And Adam played a part in that. “I didn’t take a single day off. I was here twenty-four/seven!”

A memorable moment for him was when one of the gedolim came from Eretz Yisrael. “There were twenty thousand people around, and when he got to BMG, he stopped, shook my hand, and since he heard my accent, he asked me where I’m from.”

Adam was also privileged to have a relationship with many of the rabbanim. “Today it’s different, but when Rebbetzin Kotler was alive, we would go to her house, help her out. I met her many times.”

As for what makes our community unique, Adam is well-primed to answer that, being surrounded by the pride of our town. “I love knowing that I’m safe here. Even though I’m surrounded by thousands of men, there are never fights or motorcycle gangs.” He shakes his head in wonder. “It’s definitely not the norm.”

“The busiest times of the year are probably the holidays, right?” I ask him.

“Oh, yes! Especially now since Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkos are so close together, and there’s lots to do. Years ago, we also helped the rabbis build their sukkahs.”

Unsurprisingly, Adam’s favorite is Pesach because “No one’s making a mess. They’re all busy cleaning!”

The biggest challenges on the job? “The funerals,” he answers without hesitation. “We have no notice, and we have to prepare water and mics and sound for many, many people.”

In earlier years, when blackouts used to be more common, Adam would stay through the night trying to get generators and making sure that everything is ready for the yeshivah.

“I recently moved out of Lakewood, you know,” he tells me. “The traffic was a bit much. That’s why I love coming here on Shabbos. But Lakewood’s still a great town.”

 

Cleaners with Heart

Simon, owner of Marcia Jon Cleaners (Jackson)

As a Jewish male, I spend an awful lot of time dropping off and picking up at the local cleaners.

In Lakewood, there’s a dry cleaners on just about every block to accommodate the need. I’ve found that the dry cleaners here usually know better than I do when Yom Tov is, and Marcia Jon’s is no exception.

Simon is eager to talk in between the customers who rush in and out to pick up their freshly pressed suits, and he gives the rundown on his parents’ dry cleaners in Wall Township and his childhood in Lakewood. He’s worked with the Jewish community since he was 15, and since he currently lives in Toms River, he has a lot of experience with our nuances and idiosyncrasies. One thing quickly becomes obvious: He’s a huge fan of his customers. “They take such good care of me. You know, one customer even bought me a blow-up mattress for the Passover season when I stayed here overnight.”

“It’s a real working relationship,” I remark.

“Oh yeah. They take care of me, and I take care of them.”

Working with clothes gives him plenty of insight into our little secrets. It’s unbelievable what you can find in the pockets of a suit.

“You know, customers really don’t check their pockets,” Simon says, shaking his head in amazement. “I’ve found thousands of dollars. I’ll call them, and say, hey you have money here, and they’re like, I do? They don’t even realize!”

“I also find a lot of toothpicks,” he says, frowning. “Floss picks and Listerine. Isn’t that interesting?”

Although Simon likes all his customers, he does have one favorite.

“Mr. Burnstein. We’re friends. And he’s a councilman.”

“Oh, Mordy!” I say, understanding dawning.

“Yeah,” he says proudly. “We’re really close since even before he became a politician.”

Simon tells me that the Jewish calendar dictates the way he runs his business.

“Customers tell me I’m basically Jewish. I follow every holiday. I pretty much live the Jewish calendar. I’m closed during the nine days, during Sukkos, Pesak. Where else can I do that?” he laughs.

When it comes to lingo, he considers himself one of the tribe. “I know Shabbos, tzitzis, bekesha, everything.”

Since he’s so confident, I decide to challenge him with an impromptu pop quiz.

“When do we wear a kittel?”

“Hmm… Sukkos or Yom Kippur,” he says immediately. “And also the weddings, right?”

Can’t blame him for getting confused on that one. They probably all come in at the same time!

“Right. And one more.” Since he’s still thinking, I throw out a hint. “You know, wine…”

He gets it immediately.

“Passover. We get a pile of kittels with lots of wine stains after Passover.”

I can just imagine.

“Okay, one more. When is donut season?”

“Oh, my customers bring those in!” he says, slapping the counter. “It’s Hanukkah time, right? My customers bring me so many goodies; it’s great!”

In the short time I’ve been here, close to a dozen customers have walked in. I wonder what it looks like during busy season.

I ask him when and what that looks like and he smiles.

“Busiest time of year? Pesak. You want to know how I deal with it? I pray!” he says, throwing up his hands with a smile.

Well, I wasn’t expecting a bitachon lesson from the guy at the dry cleaners, but after all that exposure, I shouldn’t be surprised.

 

Keeper of Treasures

Daniel Dunn, treasury management officer at First Commerce Bank

The bank is cool, a pleasant relief after the heat of outside, and Daniel is happy to give me a few minutes.

“My overall experience with the Jewish community is extremely positive. Some of the best clients I’ve ever had in my career. I wouldn’t leave Lakewood unless they paid me…triple!”

Daniel’s worked with many local celebrities and VIPs, but he tells me with a smile he’s not at liberty to discuss it, as he needs to protect his customers’ privacy. “I need to reserve the name dropping.”

He adds that the difference between regular American culture and Orthodox culture impacts his job a lot. “They’re an easier clientele to deal with, to be quite honest. There’s a certain level of honesty that you assume is there. Easier to trust.”

He thinks for a moment. “They’re the most loyal customers I’ve had in my twenty years of banking,” Daniel finishes decisively.

 

“Nice to meet you, tzaddik!”

Pinchas, Party Perfection

I meet up with our next interviewee outside Rita’s with big bundles of flowers behind him.

He looks up and beams when he sees me, totally unflustered by the camera.

His name, Pinchas (pronounced with the ches), is only one reason why I keep blinking during our conversation. He’s a full-fledged Mexican, but he keeps calling me “Tzaddik” as we speak, and every sentence starts with a “Baruch Hashem.”

“I’ve been working with the Jewish community for many, many years,” Pinchas informs me.

Unlike the others I’ve spoken with so far, his connection with the frum community started in Mexico.

“People don’t know how many Jews there are in Mexico. There are thousands. Big rabbis. Oh, and in Mexico, they all speak Hebrew and Yiddish. How come you don’t speak those languages here?” he demands.

Besides selling flowers, he works for Party Perfections, and he arranges flowers for weddings all week.

Baruch Hashem, Hodu l’Hashem ki tov,” he says immediately when I ask him about his experience. “No issues! People trust me. They give the code to the house. I come inside and drink coffee with them. Like mishpachah, you know.”

When I ask him about celebrities, he smiles. “To me, they’re all special.”

Well, that was a lesson in kavod habriyos.

Pinchas is a big admirer of our community services, praising Hatzolah and Chaveirim for their quick response.

We talk about his job for a bit. “You must like what you do. Otherwise look for something else,” he lectures. “Me, baruch Hashem, we have lots of fun!”

Before I leave, I ask him if he has any message for our readers, and he nods solemnly.

I’m expecting some sort of line about checking out his flowers or being nice to people, but he surprises me once again.

“My message is to all the rabbis and tzaddik and tzadikah, whoever will read the magazine. I’ want to tell them to keep growing. To learn. Learning is the best. The Torah never finishes. Keep shteiging!”

He shakes my hand with an enthusiastic, “Shkoyach, Tzaddik!”

I walk away, completely bewildered. Whom did I just interview?

 

“Exercising is v’nishmartem”

Don Allarde, personal trainer at The Gym

I’ve done a podcast with Don in the past, and before I start with my list of questions, I ask him if he’s gotten any responses to it.

“Yeah, I got some great feedback. Some new clients. It was good. Actually, it was geshmak, man! It was geshmak. How about that?” he asks, eyes twinkling.

Don’s been working with the Jewish community since 2014, when his friend reached out letting him know that there was a fitness class available in a kosher gym if he wanted to teach it.

“We talked about the class and then talked about personal training. He told me that between two and three o’clock, his gym is hopping. That’s the time that most gyms are quiet, so I had to go see. I checked it out, and it was wow! It was BMG!”

Don’s had dozens of clients since then, and “my overall experience is nothing less than great.”

He pauses. “I really need to ask the Jewish community for forgiveness,” he says candidly. “I had this preconceived notion about them. And once I got to know them, I saw it’s not what I thought at all. There’s just so much value. Not only what they believe in but how they walk it out.”

He elaborates on what he means.

“I feel like they keep life very even-keeled. They don’t lavish their social status. I work with clients who are very wealthy, multi-millionaires, and then I see them pull up in a regular Toyota. It’s really a testament of character and humbleness. They’re living out their beliefs.”

When we talk about daily experiences, Don, who’s a born storyteller, launches into a tale about a new guy who went on vacation. He came back two weeks later much heavier than when he left. “And he says to me, you know, ‘the gevain is gevain.’ and I’m like, that’s a new one! He explained that it meant what was, was. What I gained, okay, that’s it. Now I have to get back on track. I thought that was interesting.”

Don smiles. “Also, l’fum tzara agra. That’s a real staple for me. I also hear m’kayil l’kayil—from strength to strength. Oh, a new one, my new guys really like tafasta merubah lo tafasta. They never experienced the good pain from working out before!”

Unlike most others whose busiest season is the holiday season, Don’s, unsurprisingly, is after the holidays. “My line is nonstop after Sukkos and Pesach. I can imagine, you know, eight days’ worth of family and food and family and food. It’s a little daunting!”

Don laments a lack of knowledge among some members of the frum community about the importance of exercise, although he admits that it’s gotten a lot better.

“You know, one of my clients told me that exercising is v’nishmartem. And I wish people would realize that it’s not just about push-ups and sit-ups but about taking care of your health and reaching longevity. We want better health. That’s the goal. And it’s a mitzvah!”

Can’t argue with that one. But the workout will have to start after Sukkos.

 

“Jewish people are discerning customers”

Younes, wardrobe consultant at Emporio

I beat the rush. In just two weeks, this store will be crowded with men of all ages and sizes looking for that perfect suit or tie for the Yom Tov season, but today, Younes, Emporio’s calm and polished wardrobe consultant, has a few minutes for me, since the store is relatively silent.

Emporio owner Yosef Elbaz slaps him on the shoulder as I set up the recorder. “He’s from Morocco, you know! He even knows the Baba Sali,” he quips.

Well, I won’t go that far, but there’s no denying that Younes is intimately familiar with the ins and outs of our needs.

As a connoisseur of quality, Younes appreciates the professional opinion of the Jewish community. “I feel that the quality of attire has gone down in general. This store is one where the customers really know about the quality. The Jewish community understands quality, and I love that they know the business.”

He looks approvingly at the rack of suits.

I remark that it will probably get busy here soon, and he nods.

“The holidays and Pesach and Sukkos are high pressure, but nothing we can’t handle. We help the customers A to Z.”

“I see you know the lingo,” I comment.

“Well,” he chuckles softly. “I wouldn’t say I know the all the lingo. That would be bragging.”

But when I quiz him on the Yamim Tovim and the terms early Shabbos and late Shabbos, he gets them all perfectly. “Of course. Don’t forget off Shabbos!”

The store must get pretty crowded those weeks. No wonder he’s familiar.

“Favorite Jewish food?” I ask him as we wrap up.

He smiles. “Cholent. It reminds of the food we ate in Morocco.”

 

“BH for this community”

Bob Salomon, IronRock security guard

I pull up outside the large school building, and Bob, wearing his walkie talkie, gun, and IronRock security shirt, gives me a dignified but friendly wave.

“I was a corrections officer in New Jersey for over 25 years,” he begins. “I worked in a prison, and I saw everything. Then I retired.”

But Bob, a real family man and energetic individual, wanted to help his two children in college and was soon looking for something else. “A friend of mine mentioned to me that Lakewood does a lot with security. I reached out to IronRock and met with Moshe; I was really impressed, and I took the job. It’s been five years, and I love it. I wouldn’t go anywhere else.”

Bob spends most of his time at Bnos Melech Girls’ School, but he has done stints in other schools and shuls around town. “Whenever they need me, I’m there.”

What has the community done to deserve his loyalty?

“You know, right from the beginning I felt welcomed with open arms. The majority of people are so appreciative and grateful. And the kids!” He smiles in disbelief. “I get hundreds of thank-yous a week! I’ve never experienced anything like it, and it fuels me to keep going.”

As a security guard, one of Bob’s strangest experiences happened when he was still very new on the job, during the pandemic.

“So many people came to this school for food distribution. I’ve never seen so many people!”

“You know, this school had the best food boxes,” I interject.

“Yeah, they did! And there were thousands of cars coming into school. It was crazy.”

Another favorite memory was meeting some of our singers.

“There’s this guy, David, something or other, sings this song, Jump, you know. Oh, Davidi! I met him.”

He continues seriously, “My favorite was that kids’ singer Uncle Moshy. I spent, like, an hour talking to him once. He’s a gentleman.”

Bob’s met lots of “great people” on the job, but his favorite is his own principal, Rabbi Hess.

“He’s the best, hands down. He’s just a really good guy. To me, what I do is more than a job. I really support what Rabbi Hess does.”

But it’s more than that. “I think it’s so nice to have a community where people are focused on G-d and family. It really aligns with how I feel. When you do everything for your kids, then everything else falls into place. You got your priorities straight.”

On a lighter note, Bob laughs as he tells me that the “BH” trend is something he loves. “I always say thank G-d, so BH is a real staple. Rabbi Katz from Camp Leeba is always texting me that. It’s our thing.”

We talk about the Yamim Tovim, and he lights up when he hears about Sukkos.

“I love the tents! I’ve been in them many times. I love the decorations the kids make, the lights. But Purim is my absolute favorite. What it represents in the giving back… It’s just great.”

Bob doesn’t have the typical slow and busy season in the security business. “You see, we’re always trained to look for threats. It’s like a virus scan. There’s no slow season. But when parents come, when there’s an event, when Camp Leeba comes, it gets hectic. There are thousands of cars here.”

I thank Bob for his time and ask him if has any last thoughts for our readers.

He thinks for a moment.

“Whatever you’re doing for your kids, as far as faith and teaching them respect and teaching them to look out for others, just keep doing it. Our world’s in turmoil right now, a lot of things are twisted. Right is wrong; wrong is right. So when you bring light into a dark world, there’s always challenges. Keep being positive; keep making G-d the focal point and impacting others. Keep bringing light into a dark world.”