Riiiiiiing!

With a raucous cry, the boys explode out of their seats. No one, absolutely no one, lingers after the final bell of the school year.

As the boys spill outside, you can almost touch the heady feeling of freedom that floats through the yard. And somewhere deeper is a genuine sense of accomplishment, the satisfaction of a year marked by real growth.

But for Zevy, the last bell of the year only marks the end of another year of failure. He can’t follow the learning, and he doesn’t how to explain the problem to his rebbi. To make it even worse, next year he’ll need to apply to mesivtas. Would any of them take a struggling student like him who could barely keep up with the class?

For years, Rabbi Shlomo Sabo, remedial coordinator in Tashbar, watched the same heartbreaking story unfold: A bright, capable boy would begin falling behind in yeshivah. At first, the signs were subtle—a growing struggle to read a Gemara, difficulty retaining information, poor test scores, an inability to explain what he had learned. Then came the frustration, the loss of confidence, and sometimes, a slow but gradual disenchantment with learning.

Too often, the adults in these boys’ lives assumed they were just not trying hard enough, that if they applied themselves a little harder, they’d be able to succeed.

Rabbi Sabo saw something else.

He saw a boy being forced to perform beyond his capabilities.

He saw a boy who at the tender age of 12 had already been slapped with the label “failure.”

He saw potential.

The Voice spoke with Rabbi Sabo, drawing on his experience and perspective to help parents and children alike better understand what these students need to thrive.

 

A life in chinuch

 

Rabbi Sabo was raised in a home dedicated to chinuch. His father, Rabbi Asher Sabo, longtime menahel of Torah Vodaath, has been in chinuch in various capacities for more than five decades. Rabbi Sabo’s mother likewise spent years in the classroom and now works in a Brooklyn preschool as a special ed teacher.

“My parents were moser nefesh for chinuch,” Rabbi Sabo says. “They put all their kochos into their jobs, and this inspired me to continue in chinuch.”

Rabbi Sabo describes his father’s pioneering in the field at a time when very little innovation was acceptable. “As the menahel of Torah Vodaath,” he shares, “my father has always been a real trailblazer. He’s constantly looking for ways to reach and teach boys at all academic levels. I absorbed this throughout my childhood and try to emulate his methods in my own work.”

Rabbi Sabo’s wife is also a licensed special education teacher working in early intervention, and she encouraged him to pursue this path.

As a talmid of Bais Hatalmud, Rabbi Sabo’s mehalech in chinuch was also deeply influenced by Rav Brus.

“Many of Rav Brus’s talmidim became maggidei shiur and rebbeim,” he says. “He taught us how to teach people, how to communicate, how to be mechanchim. Part of what I teach today in my course comes from the values he instilled in us.”

Rabbi Sabo shares two specific chinuch methodologies he learned from phrases Rav Brus would often say in Yiddish.

“A yeshivah is not a factory; here we teach a skill,” Rav Brus would say.

Rabbi Sabo understood from this that the goal in yeshivah is not to teach a boy a specific sugya of Gemara. “The ultimate goal is to give every talmid the skills he needs to learn on his own,” he explains.

Another phrase Rav Brus would often quote, especially when two boys were arguing over pshat, was: “Every person should understand the learning according to their own ability.”

This, Rabbi Sabo explains, taught him that mechanchim can’t pigeonhole the boys into their own way of thinking. Every child is unique, and his rebbi and chavrusa must work with and build up his own kochos and skills.

“It’s not about me putting what I know into this boy,” Rabbi Sabo says. “It’s about working with the boy’s skills and building him up in the strongest way possible. A rule of thumb I try to follow when learning with a boy is: the more I talk, the less he will know.”

A growing problem

 

As a kollel yungerman, Rabbi Sabo, like many others in his position, learned with several boys b’chavrusa.

“Baruch Hashem, I was successful with a few boys, but I was also stuck with many of them. They were clearly struggling with some kind of issue, and I wanted to help them.”

Rabbi Sabo set out to learn remedial education methods. He studied under Reb Shaul Klein from Brooklyn, a self-taught expert in this area who was working for his father in Torah Vodaath at the time.

“The more I learned, the more I realized that this was hatzalas nefashos,” Rabbi Sabo shares. “These boys are struggling tremendously. If they don’t get the help they need and they continue failing through school, there is a big chance they won’t be in yeshivah for much longer.”

Something needed to be done. While Rabbi Sabo himself was helping a significant number of boys and using the proper tools to reach them, there were dozens more who weren’t getting the help they needed.

In 2018, with the encouragement and guidance of Reb Yehuda Jacobs and guidance from Rabbi Sherwinter, rav of Lakewood Commons, Rabbi Sabo founded Mechon L’Hatzlochas HaTalmid, where aspiring and current chavrusas receive the training they need to reach every boy. (See sidebar.)

 

A different way of learning

 

Through Rabbi’s Sabo’s extensive research, he discovered that most struggling boys weren’t unmotivated or lazy. They were simply grappling with genuine learning challenges that had never been identified, diagnosed, or treated.

“Learning disabilities can easily hide in the younger years,” Rabbi Sabo explains. “It’s only when a boy starts learning Gemara that they become apparent and make it impossible for him to keep up with the class.”

Rabbi Sabo explains that learning disabilities can present in several ways, including but not limited to the following:

• An issue with reading fluency
• Language-processing difficulty
• An inability to use higher-level thinking

The last item on the list, he clarifies, is often referred to as “fluid reasoning.”

“Fluid reasoning is the ability to connect one idea to the next and build a logical framework,” Rabbi Sabo says. “This is a central skill to learning Gemara.”

ADHD often plays a role as well, affecting focus, impulse control, and the ability to filter out distractions.

Left untreated, these challenges can carry consequences far beyond academics.

“When a boy keeps failing and failing,” Rabbi Sabo explains, “he begins to believe that he’s incapable. This can affect every aspect of his life and cause him to be moody, depressive, and looking for excitement from outside sources.”

 

Does my child have a learning disability?

 

“If your son can’t say over the Gemara he’s learning on the most basic level, or if his test scores suddenly drop, you may want to look deeper,” Rabbi Sabo says. “This can be the first sign of a learning disability.”

Rabbi Sabo advises concerned parents—and rebbe’im—to obtain an IQ test for their child as a first step in diagnosing and treating a possible problem.

“IQ tests are part of a full Board of Education evaluation and an invaluable tool for gaining a clear picture of your child’s strengths and challenges,” he notes. “They’re available free of charge for children in grades 1–12, and the results are science-based and unbiased.”

If an IQ test reveals that your son is indeed struggling with a learning disability or behavioral issue, Rabbi Sabo says, it’s best to hire a trained chavrusa to help him overcome his challenges and keep up with his learning.

“Sometimes,” he adds, “a boy can score higher on an IQ test once he gets the help he needs. Learning to address his challenges and of course, learning Toras Hashem, which is machkimas pesi, can improve his thinking skills and his cognitive abilities.”

Sometimes, behavioral problems or missed milestones will be noticeable from an early age. Here too, the earlier a child receives the help he needs, the better his chance of success in the classroom and in daily functioning.

 

Behavioral bonus

 

“When a boy is struggling in school,” Rabbi Sabo says, “his lack of success will spill over into every area of his life.

“Sometimes,” he notes, “a problem is completely emotional in nature. If you know there’s something bothering your child or his home environment is unhealthy in any way, there are other ways you can help him. But don’t ignore the problem—it won’t go away on its own.”

In these situations, Rabbi Sabo notes, a chavrusa often turns into somewhat of a mentor and can do wonders for a struggling student.

Yaakov was barely treading water in Gemara shiur.

When his yeshivah moved into their new, unfinished building, a member of the hanhalah spoke with the boys, warning them loudly about which areas of the building they could not yet enter.

Yaakov heard the warnings, and then turned to his friend, smirking. “Maybe if he said it a little louder, we could hear him,” he quipped.

The hanhalah member heard him clearly. “You are the mechutzaf of the year!” he told Yaakov.

Yaakov promptly pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. He scribbled for a few minutes and then held up his drawing, showing the faculty member his lovely masterpiece.

“Look what I made,” he said proudly.

It was a drawing of a trophy declaring Yaakov the official Mechutzaf of the Year.

The faculty member was shocked at the level of sheer disrespect.

“This boy just doesn’t get it,” he told Rabbi Sabo. “He needs help.”

Rabbi Sabo looked beyond the behavioral issues and apparent chutzpah. He spent months working with Yaakov, identifying the learning challenges at the root of his struggles and helping him develop the tools he needed to succeed.

“A few years ago,” Rabbi Sabo reports, “Yaakov made a siyum on Bava Basra. Today, this ‘mechutzaf of the year’ is finishing masechta after masechta in a high-level yeshivah in Eretz Yisrael.”

He wasn’t a bad kid, and he wasn’t a troublemaker. He was a boy who was failing through school, expected to perform beyond his capabilities. A boy who didn’t have the tools he needed to succeed. Providing him with these tools turned him into a completely different student.

Mesivta musings

 

While it’s best to get boys the help they need with Gemara as soon as they start learning it in school, which is generally around sixth grade, sometimes that window of opportunity passes without the boy’s parents or rebbi picking up on the fact that he needs extra assistance. When this happens, Rabbi Sabo relates, it’s not too late for the boy to catch up while in mesivta and acquire the tools he needs to overcome his challenges then.

“We get many calls about mesivta boys who aren’t successful,” he says. “Even in a lower level mesivta, a bachur can easily fall behind. He may be missing upper level thinking skills, he may struggle with focusing or language processing or have a real learning disability that’s holding him back.”

Rabbi Sabo stresses the importance of these boys working with a trained chavrusa who can teach them how to succeed despite their setbacks.

“If mesivtas would have a first- or second-seder rebbi trained in recognizing and working with kids who have learning disabilities, it would be tremendously beneficial for these bachurim,” he notes. “They can learn the science behind these disorders and how to best manage them and teach these struggling boys how to lein a Gemara and be successful in their learning.”

He adds that even boys in top mesivtas can struggle. “In a high level mesivta, a learning disability or missing skill will usually present as anxiety,” he says. “They may have a small language deficit or be missing something else that’s holding them back in some way.”

A trained chavrusa can make learning more pleasant and less stressful for them.

A man once hired Rabbi Sabo to learn with his eleventh-grade bachur, a gifted boy who was struggling to keep up with his high level mesivta.

“The boy was a genuine ba’al kishron, but he was missing some essential language processing skills,” Rabbi Sabo shares. “He had a language deficit; he couldn’t remember the translations of words or infer their meanings from the context of the sentence.”

After identifying the issue, his chavrusa was able to help the boy learn how to overcome his difficulties so he could keep up with his shiur and really shteig.

Sometimes, a young man can miss out on getting the help he needs even at the mesivta level and reaches out for help when he’s already in beis midrash—or even kollel.

“It’s never too late to change your approach to learning,” Rabbi Sabo says.

His parting message is overwhelmingly positive as he exclaims over the dedication of our community’s parents.

“Through my years working with boys and their parents, I have found that they’re always willing to spend the time, money, and effort necessary for their children to do well and succeed in their learning,” he says. “They leave no stone unturned on their quest to help a struggling child. Mi k’amcha Yisrael!”

After working with a trained chavrusa for a few months, Zevy was a transformed student. He was now articulate and communicative, and everyone, from his rebbi to his menahel to his mother, was amazed at how expressive he had become.

When the time came for him to apply to mesivtas, Zevy had no problem getting accepted into one of the highest-level yeshivos, where he’s still learning today.

Mechon L’Hatzlochas HaTalmid

 

Mechon L’Hatzlochas HaTalmid is a program that offers comprehensive training for chavrusas and rebbe’im. Courses focus primarily on boys who are in a mainstream classroom and struggle with learning disabilities. There’s also guidance on how to recognize and work with behavioral and focusing issues like ADHD. Courses are given by Rabbi Sabo and other noted mechanchim, as well as licensed therapists, including Dr. Mandelman.

“There’s no shortage of people willing to learn with boys,” Rabbi Sabo says. “The challenge is that many don’t understand what they’re looking at.”

A boy who appears unmotivated may have a language-processing issue. A child who seems distracted may be struggling with attention regulation. A student who can’t follow a Gemara’s logic may be missing critical reasoning skills.

Without understanding the underlying issue, even the most dedicated chavrusa can spend years spinning his wheels with a boy, helping him just stay afloat without providing him with the tools he needs to learn on his grade level and experience real success.

With the proper training, however, that same chavrusa can transform a boy’s learning.

The program serves the dual purpose of providing training for chavrusas and serving as a source of quality learning partners for parents, menahelim, and rebbe’im seeking a chavrusa on behalf of their student or child.

“All participants are carefully vetted,” Rabbi Sabo states. “We only accept individuals we feel will be matzliach in this line of work. B’chasdei Hashem, most of our graduates go on to become rebbe’im, successful long-term chavrusas, or social workers. Some have even set up their own assessment program in various yeshivos across Lakewood and beyond.”

Rabbi Sabo quotes Dr. Mandelman, “There’s no such thing as a lazy child. If a boy is dragging his feet through school, that’s a cry for help.”

A rebbi’s perspective

 

Rav Pinchos Kohn, seventh grade rebbi in Tashbar

An integral part of what Rabbi Sabo and other properly trained chavrusas do is that they aren’t solo operators. A boy can have a tutor who helps him chazer and keep up with the learning, but the challenges he faces in the classroom are still there; the tutoring becomes a Band-Aid instead of a solution.

A trained chavrusa, by contrast, works in coordination with the boy’s rebbi, menahel, and parents to develop a unified approach. The goal is not merely to help a boy stay afloat, but to identify solutions that can set him on an entirely different trajectory: one of genuine growth.

A tutor may notice struggles that aren’t apparent in the classroom. By communicating with the rebbi, sharing what he’s working on, and suggesting ways to reinforce those skills during class, he becomes part of a larger team. The results of that collaborative effort can be transformative.

As a rebbi, I cannot emphasize enough how a weakness in one area can affect every aspect of a boy’s learning. A boy with a poor vocabulary, for example, will struggle to retain new words, acquire the language of the Gemara, and understand terms in their proper context. These deficits can significantly hinder his progress in learning.

If a boy is struggling, it’s crucial to get him the help he needs as early as possible. Don’t delay! An 85 in sixth grade can become a 75—or lower—in seventh. Moreover, the skills learned in the younger grades are foundational. Addressing these challenges when a boy is young can take a fraction of the time it would take in mesivta.

Taking care of the issue now can save you a lot of time and a lot of heartache in the future.