\u201cYour child does not belong in a classroom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo one wants to be her friend.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy is he always angry?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When a child or teenager is not behaving as expected, to whom do parents turn?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYaakov* was sixteen when he became subdued and distant, a shadow of his former, lively self, and we had no idea what was going on. He refused to talk,\u201d Ayala* shares. \u201cHis rebbi said he needed stronger chinuch at home, my neighbor thought he could use focusing pills, and Zev* and I felt like he was just in need of attention. Family members, friends, rebbe\u2019im\u2014everyone gave us advice, and we listened, but it was clear that we were not getting to the heart of the matter. In the meantime, Yaakov was showing interest in the street kids on the corner, and we all knew that things would get more serious if we didn\u2019t act fast.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Fortunately, they did\u2014by contacting Nesivos.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n On the front lines<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Nesivos, a nonprofit Lakewood-based institution founded and directed by Rabbi Binyamin Greenspoon, LCSW, and Rabbi Yishai Ghoori, is dedicated to guiding and supporting teens who struggle psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, or socially, along with their families.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe work hand-in-hand with local yeshivos and Bais Yaakovs to ensure that boys and girls are getting the help they need,\u201d Rabbi Moshe Tendler, executive director of Nesivos, says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course, before we try to solve the issue, we need to define it,\u201d Rabbi Binyamin Greenspoon notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe \u2018zoom out\u2019 and look at all the pieces within the child\u2019s life.\u201d Rabbi Ghoori explains. \u201cThe academic performance, social functioning, emotional condition, family structure, and history\u2014every aspect of a person\u2019s background can affect behavior, so it\u2019s important that we see the bigger picture.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOnce we called Nesivos, the whole picture changed,\u201d Zev says, \u201cThey listened to us and spoke with people from inside and outside the yeshivah who knew Yaakov in different settings. They gave him a comprehensive psychological assessment and diagnosed him with social anxiety.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAlthough the diagnosis was overwhelming, we felt a certain relief,\u201d Ayala shares. \u201cWe finally understood what Yaakov was going through, and everything just made sense. There is no comfort like clarity.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Direction<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Once it identifies the challenge, Nesivos becomes the nucleus of intervention, collaborating with clients, families, schools, and therapists. Providing complete case management as well as mentors, advisers, and support groups, Nesivos essentially walks with the client as they recover and go on to lead a productive, meaningful, and successful life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nesivos works to create an individualized plan of action and find the professional that could best fit the client. The organization has access to numerous frum<\/em> therapists who are experts in various approaches to treating clients of all ages and personality types.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFinding the right therapist is like finding the right shidduch<\/em>,\u201d Mrs. Michal Lan, LMHC, a therapist at Nesivos, attests. \u201cWe work tirelessly to make sure the client gets the therapist that can \u2018click\u2019 with them for optimal results.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFinally, we were able to get Yaakov the help he needed so badly,\u201d Ayala says.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Above and beyond<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Just as a client\u2019s background is multifaceted, so should be the support. Beyond collaborating with the therapist, school, and home, Nesivos educates and guides all those involved to create a therapeutic environment for the client.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhen a child or teen is understood and supported not just by their therapists and mentors, but by their parents and teachers too, the recovery is much easier and greater,\u201d Rabbi Greenspoon notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He makes it sound easy, but it is anything but. As Dr. Yossi Shafer, clinical psychologist at Empower Health Center, points out, \u201cIt is incredible how Rabbi Greenspoon and his team direct and coordinate the support between everyone who works with the client.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Support groups<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Biweekly parent support groups led by Nesivos therapists educate parents about their children\u2019s condition and demonstrate techniques to help them heal. Support groups also offer a safe and comfortable environment for parents to connect and obtain feelings of normalcy and understanding. These groups empower families to remain optimistic and restore equilibrium in their homes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mentorship<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The only professional mentoring program available to our community, this initiative is designed as a healthy outlet for youth to connect with a positive role model. Under the direction and supervision of licensed mental health experts, highly trained and qualified mentors meet one-on-one with clients and act as caring older siblings, sharing and enjoying friendly and supportive relationships. Mentors guide young adults in making responsible choices such as pursuing educational and career goals, developing life skills, and dealing with day-to-day challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI would argue that mentorship is one of the strongest interventions out there,\u201d Rabbi Yehoshua Basch, LCSW, clinical director of Mentoring Services, says. \u201cBecause it is not strong or forced, but rather, a relaxed, nonthreatening, and enjoyable experience, teens are more willing to cooperate, and positive change inevitably happens. Sometimes it is the only program a teen is willing to participate in, and we use that as the first opening for therapy until they agree to go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cParents often tell me, \u2018I\u2019m finally able to talk to my child!\u2019\u201d Rabbi Tendler shares. \u201cMentorship is an incredibly effective way to get children to open up and express themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Job placement<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The importance of feeling confident in one\u2019s abilities and successful in their everyday activities is well known. When a teenager is not doing well on the academic front in school, low self-confidence, rejection of peers, and failure to succeed impede the healing process. Nesivos\u2019s job placement program enables youth to get a job and pursue a career, bringing structure and functionality to their days. By working closely with employers, Nesivos ensures that clients are conforming to the responsibilities of the workplace, effectively boosting their confidence, performance, and overall productivity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Community intervention<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cKeeping youth from falling through the cracks is our core mission,\u201d Rabbi Greenspoon attests. \u201cWe are connecting all the community resources to nip issues in the bud so we can prevent risk, confusion, and pain.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nesivos continues to partner with schools and community organizations in establishing awareness, training, and networking events to create positive change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe are trying to equip the \u2018boots on the ground\u2019 because they are the ones dealing with our children on a daily basis,\u201d Rabbi Ghoori explains. \u201cImagine a world where every parent and teacher could recognize the signs or conditions of a developing challenge\u2014the change would be unprecedented.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rabbi Tendler adds, \u201cOur community deserves a lot of credit for keeping up with the constant changes and advancements in the mental and emotional health field. People need to know that vulnerability is a big part of the healing process, and sharing your story will enable you to get the help you need.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n As Rabbi Greenspoon emphasizes, \u201cWe need people to know that help is out there\u2014and that reaching out for it is a sign of strength, not weakness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The way forward<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t know where Yaakov would be without Nesivos,\u201d Ayala shares. \u201cThey have truly given him a new lease on life. Today he is a thriving adult.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI can\u2019t think of a more meaningful tzedakah<\/em>,\u201d Rav Elya Brudny declared. \u201cNesivos is saving today\u2019s boys and girls from falling away from Yiddishkeit<\/em> and productive lives. This is true hatzalas nefashos<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rabbi Greenspoon concludes, \u201cEveryone deserves a chance, and we won\u2019t give up on any child in need of help. We must support our youth in leading spiritually and mentally healthy lives so they can build Yiddishe<\/em> homes of their own.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n These children are our children. These children are our future. They deserve a way forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To speak to a licensed professional, contact Nesivos at <\/em>www.nesivos.org<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>info@nesivos.org<\/em><\/a>, or 732-534-7800.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n *Name changed to protect identity<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cYour child does not belong in a classroom.\u201d \u201cNo one wants to be her friend.\u201d \u201cWhy is he always angry?\u201d When a child or teenager is not behaving as expected, to whom do parents turn? \u201cYaakov* was sixteen when he became subdued and distant, a shadow of his former, lively self, and we had no […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1920,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[20],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1918"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1918"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1918\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1921,"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1918\/revisions\/1921"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1918"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1918"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thevoiceoflakewood.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1918"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}